When I took a creative writing class a long time ago at a local community college (I don’t teach there), the professor would occasionally say things like “I’m not that kind of whore” or “I’m not a professor, I’m a prostitute.”
I have to make it clear he was not:
(A) gay
(B) engaging in camp behavior.
(C) both of the above.
So, I thought this big macho guy of a poet and English teacher was being ironic. Nope. I only got it when I started teaching.
At one college where I teach, a certain professor has the knack for turning any bit of class participation, into a teaching moment. I’m not as gifted as he is, but I sometimes turn odd questions or comments into a pedagogical opportunity.
In my late afternoon class, when I was going over attitudes towards writing and what writing is, one student asked me about if they have to learn etiquette in English class. I have to admit I was thrown off by this. Would I have to walk my students a few blocks over to the University Club, show them how I eat holding a fork with my left hand and a knife with my right, and then arrange the silverware in the four o’clock position to let the waiter know I was finished? Or, should I teach them how to write Dear Sir or Dear Madame? Honestly, I was confounded, and I hate being confounded in front of a group of people.
So, within seconds (which seemed like an eternity), I responded that while etiquette is part of how we use language, we were not learning it in this course. I then shifted the subject to the issue of tone in righting. The odd question provided a nice segue for this, even though I didn’t plan to discuss it in this session. However, it was nice to see the students understood tone in writing and many of them even came up with various examples from life.
My student’s question brings up an interesting point. Perhaps etiquette should be taught in college. I’m not talking about which spoon to use (one scene in the Titanic provides that lesson in a throwaway moment), but students could use a lesson in civility. The Mindy Shatners of the world certainly could. These are the petty, spoiled, too smart for their own good brats who deserve a good kick in the pants, but my own decency prevents me from taking that action. And, of course, they’re always academic hacks and slummers.
While it may be tempting to knock some manners into Mindy’s noggin, she just has to learn not everyone is impressed with the likes of her.
If I could use an odd question from a student as a teaching moment, I can certainly transform the martini-inspiring moments of Mindy Shatner, her little sister, and her in-bred cousins.
I think I have Mindy Shatner‘s sister in my class. Not literally, of course, but enough know the God, the Universe, or whatever, is trying to teach me a lesson that began with Mindy a few years back. I really don’t want to repeat this chapter this semester, so I’m ready to learn. Here’s how my day went.
I forgot to go over the essay rough draft requirements that are due next week (per my syllabus). One student asked me about what was needed, and I could have gotten myself out of this by pushing the date forward. I do say that the schedule is subject to change, and that language was added for anything that would push the schedule out of whack (as class schedules are bound to do). Then, this young woman rudely chimed in that the assignment was due and I hadn’t done anything to give them guidance. Perhaps her point was valid, but the way she pushed it forward was out of line.
So, I stuck to the schedule, gave them a general prompt for their narrative essay, and required them to bring five copies to class for the workshop. She interjected out of turn that she didn’t have enough printer paper for that. Well, excuse me. Go abuse the photocopier at your job. That’s what everyone else does.
Then some of the students had side conversations when a young man was trying to ask me a question (which would have benefited other people if they were listening). I asked them to quiet down a couple times before I raised my voice and said, “Excuse me!” I then calmed my voice and said, “Now that I have your attention,” and attempted to answer his question and close class.
Overall, I had a bad day. After taking some time to cool down, I went to the course’s coordinator and talked about the situation. I have until next week to get caught up. I also have this little Miss Shatner situation to deal with. Any sensible student who doesn’t like their teacher early on usually jumps to another class, but she may be here to stay because the class best fits her schedule or whatever.
If anyone truly gets out of line, I have the orange papers and the Student Affairs office number. I always hope I don’t use them.
Thanks for hearing me vent.
It will be less than a month when I get back on the proverbial wagon of teaching. I’ve been teaching on and off at the language school and I even got to warm up with a summer class, but, in the fall, I have a five semester course load with my schedule going from early morning to evening. It’s not as bad as it sounds, as there is plenty of space between courses, but that means a lot prep work and a lot of homework as well.
For the most part, I prefer community college students to university students. They are usually more interested in the courses and much more eager to participate. Of course, these students usually pass the course and many of them even do well. However, there are students whose behavior gives cause for concern, so my advice here is directed to them.
Most of these things are common sense. Most students seem to grasp and practice what was listed above, but it’s amazing there are students who think the college and the class revolves around them. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. There tends to be anywhere from 15 to 30+ in a classroom, and a class can’t function if everyone is as self-absorbed as the problem students. The overall message is that you’re part of a learning community and that you should behave as such. If you can’t do that, then you should either adapt or seriously think about if you have any business being in school.
I paid $50 for Live Scan, getting my fingerprints electronically scanned for employment at one of the local community college districts as required by the California Department of Justice. It doesn’t matter that I’ve done this for another district in the county a few years ago. As an adjunct instructor, I can pay several times over for the privilege of being fingerprinted like a common criminal.
My online version of my MFA creative writing afterlife. So much for the afterglow.
