Posts Tagged: blog friends


23
Jan 08

Call Me When You Have A Real Problem

It’s been quite a week. It wasn’t my intention to go dark on the blog last week, but I didn’t have the time nor the inclination to post anything beyond the one that announced the death of my relative. I picked up some hours at the language school in the morning mainly because I said yes to it the week before, but given the sudden change, it gave some normalcy in my life (as if there is any) while the rest of it was visiting my uncle, making sure he’s ok before and after the funeral.

I started reading an interesting book about Starbucks, that went by the wayside. I picked it up again this week, an interesting read so far. I finished Deer Hunting With Jesus some time ago, and I’ll do a post on it soon.

At the language school, I had a very cool group. While not the rowdy crowd of last summer’s Ju-Ju story, this group was intelligent and eager to learn. There was a retired psychologist from Germany whose husband was conducting the Wagner opera now playing in San Diego. While I’m not a regular opera goer, I must go to this one as this is too good of a story to let it end without me going.

Right now, it’s faculty development week at several of the schools I teach. I briefly saw Rob and chatted a bit, but we were at the English department meeting for the school where we both teach. We’ll most likely stay sane through making postcards and pursuing other creative avenues, and then reading each other’s blog entries about it.

Earlier this afternoon, a friend of mine called me to tell me Heath Ledger died. Right after I finished talking to him, I called Gary, my friend the former Baptist minister/Brokeback Mountain afficionado, and left a message on his voice mail. It only seemed right as he was the novella’s biggest proponent (among the people I know) and he got all his friends to see the movie the night of its release. Heath Ledger in his portrayal of Ennis had touched Gary’s life on some level. After he called me back, I learned a few other of his friends, including our mutual friend Jaylen, called him with the news as well.

Then there are the friends who annoy me. Well, one friend, Mr Pushy, who invited me as his guest to a party he was invited to. On Saturday, the day of the party, I got cold feet after hanging out with my uncle all day. I wanted to have some time alone, so I called him to bail out of it. I made the mistake of asking him if he would be offended if I didn’t come instead of simply telling him why I did not want to go. He then told me he would be, making me feel cornered. I didn’t have a bad time at the party, but it didn’t leave me feeling good about him as a friend. There was something else, but I can’t talk about it. However, it bothered me for the past couple of days. I tried calling him yesterday, but couldn’t get a hold of him. I finally got a hold of him and aired my gripes. From his end, my trying to back out of the party pissed him off as he RSVP’d.

I explained my position, where I told him the reasons why, and he in turn tried explained his reasons. I don’t think we’ll ever quite agree here. Somehow, I left the conversation feeling like being his friend was more of a chore than before. He seems to be of the mindset that when you say you’re going to do something, you should do it. He’s not crazy about people changing their minds. He told me it was something he was working on himself. How come attempts at personal growth have the ironic effect where they are hard on you when you reflect their faults?

I feel if someone tries to communicate their trying to back out, it’s better than some other ways they could go about it. There’s one time honored, passive aggressive means of bailing out: standing someone up. I didn’t do that.

He said I had a pattern of “doing this” (which I don’t quite understand). I always love it when people make abstract cases like this, especially since he didn’t seem to have the time nor desire to explain it. While I can’t think other attempts to flake out right off the top of my head, he might hold my refusal to go out with him to the bars when he has the itch to go out against me.

I guess I really should think about why I resist being social with this friend, especially at times when he seems to need me.


21
Dec 07

The Year in Meme

I got this idea from Danny (who in turn got it from someone else who got it from someone else, and so on, and so on). From what I understand, I take the first sentence of the first entry of each month, and it gives a year in review.

January
Note: No posts written in January, but I wrote one on New Year’s Eve, 2006.

February
When the Star Trek shows were on, I could enjoy drama and non-reality.

March
I’m not sure what to make of this episode.

April
I just read Urban Bohemian’s blog entry about not being able to take photographs on the Metro.

May
As part of the countdown to Bjork‘s new release, here’s a vid she did ten plus years back, part of the Spike Jonze portfolio:

June
It’s an annual tradition. I, along with my friends Sharon and her boyfriend Brian (not to be confused with Brian), do time at the Rock and Roll Marathon Health Expo.

July
I dropped a few links this week, but I think I made the right decision concerning this one.

August
For any readers in the NYC area:

September
When I took a creative writing class a long time ago at a local community college (I don’t teach there), the professor would occasionally say things like “I’m not that kind of whore” or “I’m not a professor, I’m a prostitute.”

October
Welcome to the Pet Peeve Edition on ShindoTV. Here are some of mine.

November
Fred Phelps and the church he sired (literally) are slapped with an $11 million verdict for picketing a soldier’s funeral.

December
I can’t believe that 2007 is almost over.

In all, that is the first sentence edition of the ShindoTV year in review. While it doesn’t say a whole lot about my blog, the lines do make for an interesting juxtaposition. I’ll do more of a year in review later, but this has been quite an experiment.


15
Dec 07

Soma Holiday? I Wish

Chris is a lot like my friend Scott in that he’s pretty adept at creating lurid scenarios with me as the main character, like he did at the beginning of his Project Runway recap. He has me recovering from my end of the semester in a Tijuana skin bar, whatever that is.

If my life was only so interesting. In reality, I’ve been drowning in papers, trying to wrap things up for that one class I so want to put behind me, and then I have finals for the classes at the urban college. On Thursday, I had to turn in grades for the college out in the mountainous desert area, and I had to turn in other documentation, such as the grade ledger and attendance. I learned my lesson for the future – be more organized with that stuff.

I still have stuff to grade for the other classes – term papers for the critical thinking class and a final for the grammar class. I am having an informal wrap for the critical thinking class, which should be fun. They were difficult as a group in the beginning, but I’ve developed a good relationship with them, especially after Felicia was out of the class.

On Thursday night, I had to give the basic composition class their in-class essay final. The department at the urban college gives a writing prompt related to two assigned readings. I must go over the readings in at least three class sessions to prepare them. Several of my students took part in discussing the readings. Others ditched or left early when we were going over the readings and the topic, and I have a feeling that it will show. Yesterday, I took part in a department wide gradathon in which people who teach this course, plus some, went into grading triage. We could grade everyone’s but our own. It took a few hours, but it got done. I don’t think I can look at them right now.

A few hours later, there was a department party at one of the professor’s house. Lots of good food and some wine, which I really needed. I drank enough to unwind. I also had a few conversations with instructors and professors about the semester overall. Tomorrow night is the party for the English department at the east county college.

Changing the subject, I’m at the point where I need a haircut. It’s simply a matter of calling the salon and setting up an appointment with the guy who cuts my hair. He does great work and I always feel great after he’s done. I’ve let the craziness of my life manifest itself in my hair. If I let my grow long, it gets very wavy and out of control. Strangely enough, this comes from my mother side of the family (which is Okinawan), and I get this trait from my grandmother (which skips generations).

I could get some clippers and buzz all of my hair off, but I’m not a buzz kind of guy. I always like to have some hair, even if I’ve never cared for wavy/curly hair. When I was four years old, my father tried to give me a haircut and wound up shearing me bald. I wore a cap for a month, even wearing it to bed, and I never forgot it. I’ve done buzzes from time to time, but I’ve never stuck with it. It’s only been good for if I got bored with my hair or if I needed a cure from a bleachjob (which happened only once).

With this guy who does my hair, I don’t need to fear a bad haircut. I’ve had my share of bad haircuts since childhood (starting with my dad) and barbers and others who just could not cut my hair. The worst were people who think you can’t mess up on curly hair. I’d know the difference, so I hear someone talk like this, it’s time to move on.

Gotta get a haircut soon.


6
Dec 07

The past few days…

I haven’t posted in a few days. It wasn’t due to having a boring week. There was one thing of note which I want to get into, and classes have been stressful, especially one. I’ve been backlogged on the term papers and another essay for this freshman composition class. A little more on that later. Plus, most of my holiday shopping is over.

I got to meet Chris this past Saturday. I actually had a very good time hanging out with him and showing him about town. As he mentioned in his post, it was finally nice to meet someone I’ve been corresponding with for the past few months. Actually, it’s been a good part of the year. He does have the same kind of biting wit that’s displayed in his blog, but he’s definitely a good guy. We had some good conversations as we got acquainted in real time.

Brian’s was diner where we ate and hung out for a while before heading to Sole Luna in Downtown for a couple of beers. Chris said it best about Brian’s being the gayest diner in San Diego and mentioning the P-Flag mom and her son walking in for dinner. Of course, Brian’s is also one of those gastronomically incorrect places, as many 1950′s styled diners are, and even the modern menu items aren’t good for your waistline. Not the place to be if you’re a skinny bitch on a diet.

Sole Luna
is near where I used to live in Downtown, so I still know many of the people in Cortez Hill. Chris got to meet a few including Karen, who stuck around for a bit and was actually good company.

The next time Chris is in town, I’ll have to take him to one of our several outlet malls if he has an afternoon free. I’m definitely game to seeing Austin in the future, especially to see if it lives up to its reputation as one of the weirdest cities in the US. Plus, I’ll definitely take up Chris’s offer to show me around town.

I’m in the midst of grading hell with the freshman compostion class. Somehow, I can’t seem to move fast enough when it comes to their papers. Most of them are done. They’re not great, but what can I expect from term papers. I take the first comment back. Some of them are very good, but others are not. The thing that gets me are that many of the papers don’t conform to MLA (Modern Language Association) style (despite having gone over it with the class and even giving them a handout of where to look in their reference books for what they need to do). For the future, I have to figure out how much of this problem is me and how I go over it, and how much they’re paying attention. Regarding this class, I never saw a pen move when I went over MLA style or anything else for that matter

I had the final class session with another class this morning. This one was at the school out in the mountains. I brought some coffee (Starbuck’s traveler) and some of my students brought some goodies. It was an informal wrap, and I felt really good about seeing this class off into the next semester. I’ll miss them for sure (can’t say the same for the other class, though I’ll be happy to see some of them on an individual basis).

I picked up some DVD’s this week. BSG’s Razor was released on DVD this Tuesday, and there are some additional scenes, but no healthy sex as I hoped. Maybe I’ll recap it later. Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet was released as a DVD some time ago, and all I can say is, “About time.”

I saw Project Runway last night and I’ll do my recap tomorrow. Culture clash and meltdown (easy to guess between who) in this episode.


1
Dec 07

First Post of the Month

I can’t believe that 2007 is almost over. A year ago, I wrote a post about not posting for a while (since August 2006). A few things were going on, especially with holding back on blogging about the workplace. I often felt like posting about the drama at the office, especially the incompetent woman I worked for. There was an incident with her that left me scarred for months after I was gone from that job. I wrote a scathing open letter half a year later to her (name withheld), which more or less pointed to what I felt about her level of professionalism. I still have a lot anger looking back on it, though returning to teaching has helped me move on from it.

I started the ShindoTV blog in May 2006, though I stopped posting regularly after August 2006. It was this month a year ago that I made a New Year’s resolution to write. It would not be until February 2007 when I started posting regularly. I’ve managed to make good on this, though Chris, Brian, and later Danny were helfpul in being part of my blog community. I can’t forget about one of my earliest blogfriends Josh and then Murphy (why did you drop out of the blogosphere, buddy?).

Fellow adjunct instructor Rob also become a part of my blog community. It’s also been fun creating and exchanging original postcards.

I have blogged about the dramas of teaching, though I tried to be careful about it. I know what’s happened to some other people, so I know I can never be too safe. Better to have a voice and pay for it than let fear silence me.

So far, I’ve had a prolific year in posts. December should be a good month. Here’s to 2007.


30
Nov 07

Rainstorm in San Diego

I know, in some parts of the country, rain is not a big deal. However, in San Diego, it is. So much so that I find it to be blogworthy.

San Diego has been parched for months, which culminated in some fires a month ago. Now it’s raining and I feel for those out of towners who come here to experience those beautiful days we’re famous for, especially Chris. He is here for a conference and he’s greeted with rain the first day here. Hopefully, he has an umbrella handy, but it’s not too hard to grab one anywhere in downtown.

I’m definitely looking forward to the meetup. I wonder if it will rain like this tomorrow.


4
Nov 07

Writing Block

Yes, I know the term’s called writer’s block. It’s an age old plague, one that manifests itself even to ranting bloggers. I suppose posting Tyra vid after Tyra vid is one sure sign of that. As you may know, she’s one of my favorite celebrities and I even posted a spoof of her famous Vaseline episode on her talk show. It was partly based on my desire for free gasoline. However, it was my only creative endeavor involving Tyra and isn’t necessarily getting over writer’s block.

Then there’s something called NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. Also, there’s NaBloPoMo, spelled out as National Blog Posting Month. Every month’s some kind of special month. Why can’t a month just be a month? We have enough damn holidays as it is. Nonetheless, some have taken it upon themselves to create that extra kick in the pants for everyone to write more. NaNoWriMo is for those who have that Great American novel in them, but they just need it spit it out the way Linda Blair famously did with green slime on The Exorcist. NaBloPoMo is for the rest of everyone else who’s just too lazy to blog everyday. If you need that extra push to write, then get in on it.

Chris has generated a few thousand words of his novel so far. His word count can be tracked on the NaNoWriMo site. I don’t think I’ll officially get into this. I’m too nervous about submitting any work to the site, even though I know it’s just word count they’re concerned with. However, it is good practice to write every day, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll keep you posted on my progress as I go along. As for Chris, just don’t leave this novel or the act of writing it in November. Once this special month is over, keep writing and revise!

Brian and Fredo have gotten into NaBloPoMo. I’ve come across both of their blogs earlier this year when I started to actively blog. There have been several attempts in the past, such as my Live Journal, which went through bouts of lots of postings to dry periods where I didn’t post at all. When I started this blog last year, I also tried blogging on MySpace to create a “mirror blog” that “my friends” could read. After writing a memoir series on grad school and some rants, I fell out of the blogosphere sometime last summer. I got this job (which I’m glad to be out of), and I got nervous about blogging. At the time, I wondered what the hell could I write about besides the dysfunctional people I work with, the incompetent boss, the uptight accountant, inane water cooler conversations, and some assorted bitches I dealt with on a daily basis, especially after the central and local office were consolidated. I guess there is some material there, but I’m still not willing to touch it beyond my open letter posted a few months ago. Getting back to blogging, I have blogged more posts this year than in the past. I haven’t posted every day this year, but I have tried to post regularly, even during August, in which there seemed to be a writer’s drought. I’ve been posting every day this month. All I need is the badge.

Badges? I don’t need no stinking badges! I couldn’t resist this even though it’s cliché. Do I need any badges to keep writing? Not really. However, it’s fun.

Josh’s recent post about writing got me thinking about the issue as well. In discussing some approached to writing, he mentions trying out Stephen King’s approach:

I even gave Stephen King’s 10,000 words a day method an attempt. I ended up producing a bunch of shit.

Stephen King’s method is the closest to NaNoWriMo’s, though they’re not as demanding. I suppose it’s good for full time writers and others who have plenty of time on their hands. The one that works the best for Josh is Kurt Vonnegut’s approach:

Legend has it that old KV would produce one page of writing a day, would pore over that page, writing, rewriting, and painstakingly editing every character, every sentence, every paragraph. Taking a book one page at a time is actually a hell of a good idea. First of all, it’s a fairly easy goal to meet. I can turn out a page of quality content in about 30-45 minutes.

Josh is careful to point out out that each writer is different, so what works for him may not work for another writer. Some may thrive on the marathons!

As for writing fiction, I’ve found I’ve had to unlearn all the writing workshop nonsense. It was easy to get addicted to them, especially in grad school where the program was set up for one workshop per semester. The problems I see with workshops are the that fiction (and even poems) become writing by consensus and that one can become dependent upon those who facilitate the workshop. There are some great teachers out there. On the flip side, there are some egotistical cult of personalities who prey on the weaknesses and insecurities of their disciples. The advice and even affirmation of either case (though the latter can be very destructive) can be a crutch. Then there are the classmates. Some lavish endless praise on some works, while ripping apart others. They’re all literate, they know what they’re taking, so this and that should be changed according to what the group wants. What happens is the literary version of Mexicali soup.

For me, there’s another issue. The people I’ve been in workshops with over the years have become the personifications of the inner critic, what I think what most people want, and even doubt. During the time I took workshops, I would hear these voices in my head, especially after I went home with returned manuscripts in hand. It was stifling, but I now know the issue is that I hadn’t learn to trust my voice. I’m not saying that trusting my voice means that my writing will be perfect, but that I know what I want to say and will work towards making sure it is said how it should be said. No one else can speak for me, nor would I want them to.

For me, it’s just a matter of getting out of writer’s block. The whole point of doing this blog was to keep writing, though I’ve made some friends along the way. If I can keep plugging away at this version of ShindoTV every day, I can set aside some time for myself to write. Oh, I also need to silence all those inner workshop participants. They’re not invited to the party.


26
Oct 07

Barbeque Sauce… m-m-m!


BBQpostcard, originally uploaded by robwilliamsdotorg.

I checked my PO box this afternoon and I received this wonderful card from Rob. It really made my day to get it. He’s also part of the Post Due collective, and we’ve both had a wonderful time making post cards. He’s the one who got me into it.

I think there’s room for Faye to be the Gold Lady. Most of her manifestations are the major divas, but there’s also room for Faye.

A few days ago, I received the very fun postcard from Chris Gregori, who was one of my partners assigned by the Swapbot. As for the other swap partner, I haven’t gotten a card from her. Ahem. I’m sure it will be fun.

If you’re interested in doing the postcard swap, you can go to Post Due dot Com. If you’re interested in getting postcards from me, e-mail me at shindotv at mac dot com. You can also send postcards to me at:

shinichi evans
PO Box 125003
san diego, ca 92112-5003


27
Sep 07

Mona Lisa Smile and then some

Of course, much of the fall programming on ShindoTV is teaching stories, and this is no exception. Much of my time now is taken up with preparing for classes, reading papers (sometimes I want to shoot myself in the head), running to and fro various campuses. This week I picked up a critical thinking class at the urban college from a professor who dropped it to reduce her course load. She was happy to get away from this group of people and now I know why.

This course focuses on race, class, and gender. This guarantees that there will be a lot of controversial topics, enough to make any white person/white wannabe* uneasy. White (male) privilege, that women and minorities still face discrimination, and that divide between rich and poor has become greater are recurring topics in this course. The professor warned me the group would be resistant.

They watched Crash before sometime before I took over the class. She told me the class had a discussion on it, but they weren’t quite finished. I tried to continue the discussion yesterday, only to get tightlipped silence. Even though I saw the film several times, nothing prepared me for this. Some people did talk about the film, but several of the more vocal ones tried to claim the discussion on Crash was over. I also got some other misleading ideas about the course from some other student, such as that the papers were two pages in length and that the readings weren’t due that day. This was definitely a Mona Lisa Smile moment if there ever was one. I felt a lot like Julia Robert’s character walking in on that horrid group of girls with another professor’s syllabus. However, my class was a horrid group of young men and women.

New syllabus, new rules, and much longer papers. They need their arses kicked.

Now on to a few other things. Chris made a comment in his latest entry about “making a concerted effort not to do a blog fade.” He mentioned a few of the blogs he read that seemed to hit blog death. No apologies for not posting, just a sudden stop. I don’t think that’s the fate of Chris’s blog.

There’s this one person on my blogroll who stopped posting altogether. He got himself a domain name to route it to his blog and no posting since some rant in July. He broke his silence to show off a T-shirt, but that’s was over twenty days ago. Is this blog faded? Hopefully, all isn’t quiet on the western front.

I saw Eureka last night. I still don’t know what to make of Stark beyond that he’s hot (as he is too complex to be a villain). Oh, alchemy turns out to be alive and well in Eureka and apparently has a very handsome practitioner. That’s all I’ll say on Eureka.

On a lighter note about teaching, I inflicted a Beavis and Butthead episode “Butt Is It Art?” on my freshman composition class in east county. The main point of showing the vid was to show cause and effect, though I wonder if my students only got a “boob” and a “butt” out of it. We also discussed Chris Crocker’s newfound fame as a result of Britney’s critically panned VMA performance and we watched his vid and Seth Green’s parody. Gotta love those smart carts.

Back to work. I have a long day tomorrow.

*this definitely applies to those conservative types.


18
Sep 07

Bohemian Like You

I couldn’t resist the allusion to the Dandy Warhols in the title. I came across Jonathan Rauch’s “Caring for your Introvert” (Atlantic Monthly) through Brian’s entry on this article, so “Bohemian Like You” only seems appropriate.

Hi, I’m Shin and I’m an introvert. While I’m not aggressively antisocial, I find people best at small doses, whether they’re family, friends, lovers, or acquaintances.

It’s nice to know that introversion is an orientation, but this culture is run by extroverts who don’t understand people like me at all. People like me, however, have had plenty of time to observe them.

Given a choice between living with others or by myself, I will live alone. I am willing to pay a little more for this whenever possible. On the surface level with roommates, there’s a lot of bullshit I’d rather not deal with: messiness, personal tastes, sharing things, and bathrooms to name a few things. The bottom line, however, is that I can find other people intrusive in my home, especially if they are the type who thrive on company. I want to be left alone so I can read, write, watch my TV shows, or surf the net. Then, there are all the things I would rather do when no one is around, like have a footbath and give myself a pedicure.

I’m fond of daydreaming and conceiving characters, milieus, and stories in my mind. I’m happiest when I can get lost in my imagination and write or draw pictures. I wish I had more time to do this.

I find it interesting that Rauch says, “We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours.” I typically think before saying something. I often feel like I’m editing my sentences in my head so I can coherently say something, and the delivery can be awkward at times. Though I have my moments of quick, witty remarks, I am often not good with the quick response. Answering people and participating in small talk are things that feel laborious to me. As an introvert, I have had the opportunity to observe extroverts, and they often talk about nothing most of the time. Often, when I’ve had conversations with people (especially an assertive extrovert), I find their responses lacking. In other words, I don’t think they’re listening, despite that they may be quicker and more confident in what they say. When someone listens, I’m truly impressed.

There’s nowhere where this becomes apparent more than parties. As much as I enjoy going to parties, participating in banter can be awkward. Some people “hold court” while people like me try to figure out how to get a word in edgewise. I guess I haven’t mastered the extrovert’s ability to detect the pause in conversation and quickly jump in.

Of course, parties are events where I don’t like to stay for long. Long enough to make an appearance, but short enough to limit my interactions with people. The issue is similar to what I encounter in teaching.

I often feel being an introvert is an occupational hazard. Teaching is an activity where I must interact with a group of people, and I find it tiresome. Even though I may spend one hour (minimum) per session with a group of students, I feel I need to unwind afterwards. Late afternoon and evening courses work the best for me, as I can go home and easily unwind in several different ways – TV, Internet, reading, music, or a nightcap. In my ideal schedule, I can easily take care of prep work and grading in the daytime, teach at night, and have my dose of solitude and unwinding after class. However, I often take classes I can get, so I teach some courses in the morning and the afternoon, which ruins me for the entire day.

Yes, teaching can make me feel like a whore. I could easily point to how I’d rather write or do art, but any job is whoredom in that case. Even though I am one of the nicest people in the world and am capable of friendliness, I really am not a people person. I am not fond of being emotionally or psychologically promiscuous. I prefer to interact with a few people than many. Given that, I don’t hate teaching. I enjoy it, especially when I have those teaching moments (those unexpected lessons that come up).

Overall, it is a matter of caring for my introvert. Part of it is managing my time so I can unwind from lessons and even to set aside time where I can sit down and prepare (and feel good about it). Another part is being able to say no to friends like Mr. Pushy, who thrives on dragging me along to adventures in crowded places. I’ll probably post more about being in introvert in the future, but thanks for tuning in.