religion

religion — 2 Comments
2
Aug 07

I’m not gay! (what do you think?)


I’m not talking about myself, of course. Anyone who’s read this blog and anyone who knows me in real time would laugh if I said that. I found this vid on Ex-Gay Watch, and this young man tries to explain why he isn’t gay, despite that he’s a flaming queen. I do, however, feel a great deal of sympathy for him as he reveals his conflicting feelings and beliefs in this rambling post.

Here are some noteworthy quotes:

It’s not my fault I find men attractive. And, yes, I still find men attractive.

I’ve never gone around sleeping with men, I’ve never gone around making out with men, I’ve never really lived the gay lifestyle and I really don’t want to. I just find men attractive and I know that in time that will fade. It has faded a lot… It has faded a lot..

I want to be accepted by other men, I want to be friends with men, I want to be loved by men, I want to minister to men, I want to love men…

At least on some level he can accept being gay as part of himself, though he likens it to a disease. Although, I don’t think gayness ever fades over time. I’ve been there. I hate that I wasted my late teens and my early twenties dealing with this BS and spent the later twenties getting un-fucked up from it. Regarding the third quote, amen to that and I say that as a gay man.

I must say that his “attraction” to men will not be an insignificant issue in his list of problems in the years to come.

gay / religion — 2 Comments
2
Aug 07

How Frakked Up Is This?

Just read this in the Advocate this morning: Baptist minister charged with indecent exposure. On some level, I don’t want to feel sorry for him because he may had some role, however small, in perpetuating homophobia and uptightness about sex in general. I do feel sorry because A: he’s a victim of his own priggish mentality, and B: he will be out of work soon. He should have thought about B before doing this:

  • Driving under the influence.
  • Public urination at a carwash (especially in front of children).
  • Wearing a skirt at the incident.
  • Sexually propositioning (presumably male) police officers when they arrived at the scene.

He’ll probably get rushed off into ex-gay rehab, never to be heard from again.

Update: This video, “Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual” seems appropriate:

gay / religion — No Comments
2
Aug 07

How Frakked Up Is This?

Just read this in the Advocate this morning: Baptist minister charged with indecent exposure. On some level, I don’t want to feel sorry for him because he may had some role, however small, in perpetuating homophobia and uptightness about sex in general. I do feel sorry because A: he’s a victim of his own priggish mentality, and B: he will be out of work soon. He should have thought about B before doing this:

  • Driving under the influence.
  • Public urination at a carwash (especially in front of children).
  • Wearing a skirt at the incident.
  • Sexually propositioning (presumably male) police officers when they arrived at the scene.

He’ll probably get rushed off into ex-gay rehab, never to be heard from again.

Update: This video, “Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual” seems appropriate:

religion — No Comments
3
Jul 07

Looking Back Post-Ex Gay

As those who tune in to the broadcasts on ShindoTV know, I have quite a few posts on the ex-gay subject. I have also posted some of my reasons for posting on this topic. These people in the following videos, brought to you by exgaysurvivordan on YouTube, have been through a lot in the ex-gay programs, but they have lived to tell about it. In each of these vids, they reveal the mindset of what’s going on in someone’s mind when they’re participating in these programs.

Here is my friend Jaylen briefly talking of his experience of thinking he fell in love with a woman, which happily resulted in a lifelong friend instead. I love how he describes the unexpected feeling of falling in love with a man during this period.

Micheal Bussee, a co-founder who walked away from Exodus, gives some insight to the rationalizations one makes when feeling transformed at point and then having to face that their innate homosexual nature isn’t going away anytime soon.

Shawn O’Donnell, whose video accompanies “Why I Post On This Subject,” articulates that denial, not change happened during his ex-gay years.

My friend Gary, who helps keep me and several other friends posted on this topic, sent me this article a few days ago in the LA Times: Three Former Leaders Of Ex-Gay Ministries Apologize.

It is nice these people apologized. On some level, I never saw it as necessary because their efforts now have been to show that despite some sincere motivations, they saw how harmful ex-gay theology and therapy is. Hopefully, what they said will reach those who need to hear it.

I have a hard time believing is Alan Chambers, current president, is sincere. He and a few others have managed to make a living from self-hatred (theirs and their clients’) and doing the right thing would require a financial price. And, is there room for to forgive these perps if they ever step down?

Link:
Huffington Post, “A Call For A Dialogue from an Ex-’Ex Gay.’”

religion — No Comments
30
May 07

Moore Gets Phelps Real Good

My friend Gary sent me this video where Michael Moore gets the Gay Team on Fred Phelps and his church. The poor guy just withers at the sight of two (or more) men kissing, and can’t accept Moore’s invitation to come aboard the Sodomobile, which is rocking with buggery.

Gary also sent me this article in the Anorak, where we get to see the Phelps-sired Westboro Baptist Church sing “God Hates The World“*, their saccharinely angry parody of “We Are The World.” As religious kitsch, file this awful song alongside Chick Tracts and the Left Behind series.

* warning: hearing the Phelps and company sing can be traumatic to the listener.

religion — No Comments
26
May 07

Kudos to Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Here is a man more worthy of screentime on ShindoTV: Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa. On the BBC website, Tutu mentions there are more pressing issues in Africa, yet many of his fellow Anglicans have focused on homosexuality. Some are more worried about gay priests than they are about other issues: poverty, disease, and political corruption. Tutu says:

We’ve, it seems to me, been fiddling whilst as it were our Rome was burning. At a time when our continent has been groaning under the burden of HIV/Aids, of corruption.

There are so many issues crying out for concern and application by the church of its resources, and here we are, I mean, with this kind of extraordinary obsession.

Bishop Akinola, are you listening? African nations such as Nigeria and Zimbabwe are in turmoil, yet you’re preoccupied with gays when you are in a position to help your fellow Nigerians and other Africans.

The Most Reverend Tutu, you’re my hero.

religion — 1 Comment
26
May 07

This is seriously frakked up!

Religiously motivated hate crimes are not cool at all. Reported in the NY Times this morning, Umair Ahmad, a Moslem teenager in Queens attacked a Vacher Harpal, a Sihk classmate, in retaliation for insulting his mother. Even though Vacher apologized, Umair wouldn’t accept it. Instead of insulting him back or walking away, Umair chose cut Vacher’s hair after making him go into a school bathroom. His reasoning? His religion told him to do it. That seems to be a favorite excuse of many perpetrators regardless of their religious beliefs.

I’m glad it didn’t stick and that he’s charged with felony hate crimes. His look-out should have been charged. Many of these perps don’t do their dirty deeds without some help.

I hope that other hate crimes offenders don’t get off lightly, especially those who attack gays and minorities in the name of Jesus. The First Amendment does not extend to hurting other people, contrary to what some people may think.

religion — No Comments
26
May 07

Kudos to Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Here is a man more worthy of screentime on ShindoTV: Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa. On the BBC website, Tutu mentions there are more pressing issues in Africa, yet many of his fellow Anglicans have focused on homosexuality. Some are more worried about gay priests than they are about other issues: poverty, disease, and political corruption. Tutu says:

We’ve, it seems to me, been fiddling whilst as it were our Rome was burning. At a time when our continent has been groaning under the burden of HIV/Aids, of corruption.

There are so many issues crying out for concern and application by the church of its resources, and here we are, I mean, with this kind of extraordinary obsession.

Bishop Akinola, are you listening? African nations such as Nigeria and Zimbabwe are in turmoil, yet you’re preoccupied with gays when you are in a position to help your fellow Nigerians and other Africans.

The Most Reverend Tutu, you’re my hero.

religion — No Comments
22
May 07

Why I post on this subject…

Tonight’s broadcast on ShindoTV is brought to you by Shawn O’Donnell, Wayne Besen, and Truth Wins Out. This video is posted on Ex-Gay Watch and addresses the denial ex-gays go through, especially when they “lapse” into doing some very gay things.

With the postings and the videos on this subject, I’m sure some of my readers suspect I have some personal history with the ex-gay movement. The answer to that is “yes.” I was eighteen years old when I became a born-gain Christian and got the idea that being gay was wrong. I soon started going to Homosexuals Anonymous and I became fast friends with this very handsome guy in his late twenties (whom I’ll call Malcolm). He was tall (between 6’2″-6’4″), had a swimmer’s build and dark brown hair and blue eyes, and had a carried himself with an easy, masculine charm. He soon became my confidant and his attraction to me would spill dangerously into our phone conversations (with an interesting amound of denial). Interestingly, we never hooked up for sex until two years after knowing each other. By then, the sexual tension was very high and it would be my first time.

By 1997, I woke up to how awful fundamentalism is and came out of the closet shortly after.

I wonder if Malcolm ever reads this blog.

I may write more about it in the future. It’s difficult to revisit this time in my life, so I’ve dealt with it by posting videos about the “ex-gay” ministries and making fun of the perpetrators as they richly deserve.

Related Links

religion — 2 Comments
17
May 07

Text Messages Are Such Odd Things

Yesterday, I received a text message from someone I know announcing Falwell’s death and that a mouthpiece of bigotry is now silenced. Text messages are such odd things. It’s hard to truly know what the tone of a message is, but this one sounded like rejoicing. Or, it could be interpreted as a tone of relief. As much pain as Falwell has caused for many people, I can’t take pleasure in his death, nor would I want to.

I’m glad to know I am in good company with this view, as Brian and Chris also cannot get giddy over someone’s passing, no matter how awful of a person they were.

I doubt that Falwell’s death has silenced him or his followers. That he has worked so hard to silence the gay community will be one of his enduring legacies. It’s certainly not an endearing one.

Of all the GLBT critics of Falwell, Mel White has been the kindest in his depiction of him in Stranger at the Gate. While not blind to what Falwell represents, White has tried to engage him in dialogue. Hopefully, Falwell’s passing will help keep the conversation going, and perhaps his followers will come around. Well, I can only hope.

Falwell’s death brought up the issue of Peter Akinola for me. As much as I’ve been frustrated with his anti-gay stance and how he has attempted to pressure the Episcopal Church to fall in line with him, I wouldn’t feel joy if he suddenly passed away. His death wouldn’t silence him or others in his camp and it wouldn’t improve things for anyone.

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