friends


17
Aug 07

Notes on a Fallout

It’s always interesting when you know someone with a pattern of close, but short term friendships. Yesterday, a fellow alum from my alma mater’s English program and I compared notes on Liza Radley*. He had his falling out with her a couple of years ago and I fell out with her last year. Without getting into too much detail, she picked fights with both of us when it came to expressing her disappointment. Regarding my colleague, Liza screamed at him on the phone until he hung up. I, on the other hand, got some very insulting e-mails. I then fell into the worst trap of all–responding. I recalled some event where she failed me and put it in the reply. That ended the friendship right there.

She also fell out with close friend and poetic collaborator Alexandra and then Shelly, her best friend from her undergrad years. Who knows why it happened, but the news about Liza dissolving her frienship with Alexandra spread quickly through the university’s MFA program, which was such a gossip mill.

A couple of years before my “break-up” with Liza, I was seeing a counselor who asked me in one session to rate the healthiness of my friendships on a scale of 1 to 10. I think I rated Liza 3 or 4. Not good at all.

*Pseudonym from “Liza Radley” by the Jam. Here are the lyrics.


26
Jul 07

I Crush Their Heads

If you’ve watched the Kids in the Hall, then you’re familiar with the Head Crusher skit. During Pride weekend, I got some head crushing pics. Kerry crushes my head in the left pic; however, I don’t get to return the favor as he proceeds to crush his own head.

I get crushed Kerry crushes his own head

These two were done way before pride, where I crushed the heads of people in coffee shops: anonymous Wi-Fi user (top) at Twiggs, and Gigio, co-proprietor of Sole Luna in Downtown San Diego’s Cortez Hill neighborhood (bottom).

I Crush Preppy's Head!

Crushing Gigio's Head


24
Jul 07

Some Pics from my friend Jaylen

Here are some pics from my friend Jaylen when he borrowed my camera when we were hanging out at Cheers after the Erasure show. Pictured in this order are my friend Scott, me with Jaylen, and Jaylen with Amber.

Scott's astonished
Oh God, He Totally MySpaced This!
Oh God, He Totally MySpaced This! 2

Check out some more pics on Flickr.


23
Jul 07

San Diego Pride Weekend

Aztec Eye Candy 2 God Bless Mexico Rough Trade

Yes, I’m using a tactic to boost ratings that Chris, Brian, and I love so much: a show of skin. Usually, one picture suffices, but I’ve treated you to a triptych. Oh, and there is a point to this. It was Pride Weekend in San Diego and there was no shortage of skin. There were plenty of clothed people, but posting nearly naked men is more fun.

My friends Scott, Jaylen, and Kay staked out a table in Starbuck’s outdoor patio on University and Cleveland at 9:00am, Saturday morning. Some more friends would join them, but I could only chat with them briefly. I was marching with St. Paul’s Cathedral in the parade. I would see them when the St. Paul’s group passed by them.

Since I was marching with St. Paul’s, that meant waiting for a couple of hours at the Hillcrest DMV before the parade. There were approximately 50-60 people who showed up to march, which was a larger turnout from the two or three previous years. Integrity had organized the parade contingent in the past; however, this was the first time the Cathedral was wholly represented. Many of the gay membership was present, but many others showed up to show their support. Clergy also participated. The Reverend Canon Allisyn Thomas (pictured with Martin holding the Gay Agenda sign) has long dreamed of having a large fantastic float, something that represents the Cathedral. No big float yet, but there were two silver convertibles and plenty of people for starters. Hopefully, Allisyn can have her float next year and will be big and fabulous.

Priestly Communication IMG_2377 Scott and Allison Me and Daniel Parade Car

Left to right: The Reverend Canon Andrew Rank, St. Paul’s members, the Very Reverend Scott Richardson and the Reverend Canon Allisyn Thomas, my friend Daniel and me, one of the cars used for the parade.

Since waiting for the parade to begin took a couple of hours, I wandered (not too far) and took some pictures. A fun float a few places ahead of us was Hairspray Salon, which had a Flintstones theme this year:

Barney and Wilma Bedrock Residents Flintsone and Caveman Friend

I couldn’t resist catching these t-shirt captions:

Dip Me In Honey... Harder, Dammit!
Left: We know what he likes. Right: We know how he likes it.

Here are some people I met during my wandering around:

Me and Scott from MCC Priest of Perpetual Indulgence Me with Miss San Diego Rodeo Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

Left to right: Me with Scott from MCC (not to be confused with my other friend Scott), Priest with Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, me with Miss San Diego Rodeo, and some Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

When it came time for the parade to start, Tutti of Lipps sent us off with a bang. She bantered with us about the time when Lipps was across the street from St. Paul’s, how Lipps is now the holiest place in their new location, and what does one call a female priest: priestess? priestessess? priest? At certain points, commentators told the spectators of the floats, but Tutti was the most fun.

Tutti
Tutti of Lipps sends St Paul’s off.

Our group was very well received on the parade route. Well, not by everyone:

Protesters

These nutjobs show up on 8th and University every year. This is the one spot protesters are allowed their First Amendment rights. Their numbers used to be larger, but it seems like the really cute, but loudly homophobic guys came out of the closet and left. Who knows? Hopefully, they will get love wherever they find it. They certainly won’t find it behind a horse’s ass.

After the parade, I got to meet in person Ted, one of my blog friends. Ted was one of the first people I “met” out in the blogosphere” earlier this year when I began interacting with other bloggers on a regular basis. He’s a writer, teacher, anthroplogist, doctoral candidate, a fellow holder of an MFA, and along with his husband, an editor of From Boys to Men: Gay Men Write About Growing Up. I got to meet his partner Rob, who will be a co-worker of mine in the fall, and I got to meet a mutual acquaintance of ours I haven’t seen in years. Our interaction was brief, but I don’t think I’ve seen the last of Ted.

No pride event is complete without token straight boys. God bless them, especially when they’re cute. This guy was in front of me in line at Chipotle’s on 7th and University and I couldn’t resist taking his picture. One of his girlfriends helped me out with taking this pic by telling him to own what’s written on his arm. After I got this pic and ordered my burrrito, I met my friends for lunch. Chipotle’s was crowded and we couldn’t sit with our group for a while, so Scott, Daniel, and I sat outside. After a while, we joined the rest of the group inside and met up with Amber and Julie, who could only be there for a short while.

The festival was like any other festival I’ve been to, only bigger. This time, the grounds extended to 6th and Laurel and there were more beer gardens than before. As usual, there were many obscure bands, but the headlining band was Erasure on Sunday night.

Andy in mid-air

Like the True Colors set of a month ago, Erasure’s set was a truncated one. Given that is was more practical to take a minimalist approach, Andy Bell and Vince Clark avoided the flamboyant theatrical devices that typically accompany their shows. While Bell and company didn’t do many costume changes, they did have some interesting outfits. Bell and Clark wore Andy Warhol patterns. Vince Clark had a Debbie Harry t-shirt underneath his jacket, while Andy Bell sported a Warhol print of Debbie Harry on his silver jacket. Vince Clark masqueraded as Andy Warhol with his wig, and the back-up divas wore fluorescent cheongsams and wigs to match. They played material from their new album along with some standard crowd pleasers from the 1980′s, but Erasure delivered a show that ultimately satisfied festival goers.

Vincent Warhol Andy shows his Warhol

See more of my Pride pictures on Flickr.


18
Jun 07

Distractions Behind The Pulpit & Keys Falling Down A Pocket In The Universe

What a weekend it has been.

For the first part of the title: I attended services at St. Paul’s this morning this morning and the guest preacher was John Fanestil. His sermon was about social justice in response to the Gospel reading of the the woman who washed Jesus’s feet with ointment from the alabaster flask, but I was incredibly distracted. I found him very handsome and he was about 6’2″ (another plus). Clergymen aren’t supposed to that good-looking? Or should they?

On Friday, I bought a copy of Armistead Maupin‘s Michael Tolliver Lives. I’ll say more about this in a post after this one. I read this one all weekend and finished it this morning.

Also on Friday, I also went to Sephora in Fashion Valley and bought myself Burberry London as a treat for making it through the first week of the summer course. Well, I do have some other motives for buying the fragrance.

As I was waiting in line to pay for this gift to myself, a friend of mine called me and wanted me to go with him to Top of the Park. This friend of mine can at times have no manners at all and be very pushy, and he was adamant about wanting to go to the Friday night rooftop cocktail party, but I didn’t want to go. I just wanted to go home and read my book before I met another friend of mine at 11pm for some boba. Somehow, my protest that I had nothing to wear didn’t make him back off. Word of advice: never use this excuse with the fashion-challenged unless you can shame them. I compromised and met him for drinks. He’s the type of person who likes to be in crowded places, but I wasn’t quite in the mood as my daytime attire didn’t translate well into evening. I managed to have a good time despite that I really didn’t want to be there, and I barely drove home after a couple of beers. I had to call my other friend to pick me up instead of meeting him at the boba place.

I did have a brief talk with my pushy friend on Saturday morning after he called me the next morning and aggressively invited me to go biking and rollerblading with him. Being Japanese, I don’t like to say “no” at all, and I’ll give a reason or an excuse instead. However, I realized I had to adjust my communication style with him and just hit him over the head with “no.” I told him that’s how I’ll have to deal with him in the future and then he backed off. While I may find my friend’s trait annoying at times, he is a very good friend of mine and I value his insight at times.

My friend called me again later in the evening and he was itching to go out. However, I had the novel to keep me company on Saturday evening and I told him that. He suggested going out to Urban Mo’s, but I already had my fill of restaurant food for the past few days. He was bored and restless. I asked him if he could just read a book, and he didn’t want to do that (he normally is an avid reader). As a joke, I suggested he wank. He wasn’t into that suggestion either. He met someone at Top of the Park and was waffling about calling him. Where is the pushiness when he needs it. I told him to make the call.

I did join pushy friend and a friend to the service on Sunday morning where I was distracted by the clergyman. Afterwards, we went out to Brians after lunch.

After parting ways with my friend, I went out for an afternoon of errands. Sometime after I got home, I lost my keys. I don’t know how this happened, but my keys are gone. I turned everything upside down, but I still couldn’t find them. One nagging suspicion is that I left them at the car wash or at Target, but there is no good explanation of how I could have driven home and lost my keys. I don’t remember re-attaching the car key to the rest of the keys, so anything is possible. The house keys are easily duplicated and my brother had a back up copy of my car key, so not all is lost. I just hate that the keys seem to have fallen through a pocket in the universe.