The awful catchphrase “I wish you well” got me thinking about some other not-so-sincere wordings in the English language. I didn’t have to look too much further from what’s used in letter writing. First, we often salute the intended reader as “Dear,” whether we feel that way about the person or not. Those close to us, such as family members or significant others, really are “Dear” to us. However, this salutation is also used to address strangers and acquaintances, such as professors, administrators, editors, and managers who have our resumés/CV’s in their hands. I may totally hate the person I’m writing to, but it’s culturally appropriate to begin the letter with “Dear ———.” With writing to various dignitaries, such as the Queen of England or the British Ambassador to the United States, I could use a salutation without “Dear,” but the likelihood of writing such letters for me are extremely slim. For the most part, I must pretend to really like the people I must write letters to.
Then there are the words we all use to close letters. For close family, lovers, and spouses, “love” is appropriate. Fortunately, I don’t have to pretend to write to HR people, department chairs, managers, or anyone who holds my CV in their hands. Also, I’m not obligated to show such affection to when I complain to politicians or editors of magazines with objectionable or erroneous articles. Instead, I’m supposed to tell them I’m “Very Truly Yours” or that I’m “Sincerely Yours” or that I’m parting with “Warm Regards” or that my letter overall has been written very “Sincerely.” First, I’m not comfortable offering myself to a stranger as “Very Truly Yours.” I have trouble enough even seeing myself as “Very Truly Yours” with guys I have an intimate relationship with, so closing the letter with this phrase can make me feel very slutty. And, I’m definitely not “Sincerely Yours” and I often don’t feel sincere about a lot of business letters, especially the job queries.
As much as I can take issue with words like “Dear” and being “Very Truly Yours,” coming up with more modern, appropriate means of address is a challenge. For salutations, “hi” works in e-mails and scribbled notes, but doesn’t always sound professional to managers and others. I would prefer to open letters with Mr., Ms., or Mrs. ———, dispensing with “Dear” altogether. As formal as this term is, these people are not my dears. I may not be sincere or giving of myself to these parties, but I’m definitely awaiting response. Which is the whole point of writing the letter.
Tags: grammar, letter writing, letters
I don’t think I’ve ever used “Very truly yours” in my life. I completely concur. I do use “Dear Sirs” or the like when writing formally. In closing, I typically express “Warm regards” if it is an esteemed colleague. If it’s some Joe, I use “Best” or “Best regards.” With friends, I close with “Cheers.” This is why I love writing in Spanish–it’s so much easier.