This continues the “Lessons in Impermanence” series, with continuing some thoughts directly after “Part I.”
Life after grad school also had its share of impermanence as I continued at the urban community college and had a brief stint teaching English at the FIDM. I then tried jumping ship by getting a more “regular” job at one hot mess of a labor union’s headquarters. That lasted for six months, followed by six months of unemployment. Then, during that time, I courted English department chairs and a director of a foreign language school, and I found myself on the freeway flier circuit in the fall of ’07. After a year and a half, I didn’t return to any classes with one district, continued to work for another until I got laid off.
After having been through the constant semester by semester patterns of working, with new students and new curricula every time, you’d think that I’d be used to impermanence. Even with the jobs that didn’t work out, you’d think I’d be equipped for it. With jobs of a temporary nature, such as the language school, it’s not every day that I get that “Mrs Peel, you’re needed” type of phone call. Even with being back at the urban college and working another education-related gig, things aren’t so permanent. After the end of the semester, I always have to figure out my employment situation for summer and beyond.
Despite my Asian roots (OK, only half my roots), I’ve longed for an American life and enjoying what it had to offer. When I was a young Army brat, we moved around quite a bit and we even got to live in Okinawa for a few years. I haven’t been back since. My mother is disappointed with me that I never took the opportunity to teach in Japan when I was younger and she still pushes me to do so. Perhaps it’s not too late. The American life I hoped for was a pipe-dream that sustained me through a McJob, college, and grad school, and even my pursuit of making a living after graduate school. Perhaps getting the MLIS is an extension of that, but I also want to gain skills where I can do something other than teaching. I could take that abroad with me, and every day, Japan or China doesn’t seem like a bad idea.
Whether one works as a contingent member of the workforce, as a freelancer, or both, no job situation is ever fully in place. One may have those long-term relationships with employers and/or clients, but they can be easily terminated by either party. Constantly having to find work and sources of income is a reality that something that most people don’t really have to face until times like now, when companies look out for their bottom line and trim jobs. This is definitely an upsetting lesson in impermanence as those who may have worked at their jobs for many years may come head on with financial difficulties and even have to deal with fundamental changes to their identities.
While there is a cliché in our culture that we are not our work, it’s not true. Many people do draw a sense of who they are from their jobs or professions. Seeking to define oneself professionally is a driving force in seeking and preparing for a career. These people would not be in their lines of work if it didn’t interest them and the pride they take in their jobs helps show their identification with them. With career change comes a shift in identity. People shift careers in good times, but that is often the result of much thought and soul-searching. In times like this “recession,” many people who lose their jobs are no longer who they thought they were. Being unemployed is depressing, even with the benefits, because it can deal a serious blow to one’s self-worth. Being defined as unemployed can feel worse than death. Even if one comes out of joblessness or even manages to escape it, the jobs may not be in line with what they prepared for or are interested in. For some people, the work they procure may be “beneath them.” For example, in Tokyo Sonata, a laid-off Japanese executive first pretends to go to work and then hides his job from his family when he finally gets one. He has gone from managing an office and not really knowing what he does to cleaning floors and toilets at a shopping mall. It is certainly not an easy period of adjustment.
Even then, joblessness and bad jobs do not last forever. Like the desirable careers, these two things are subject to change. It can spell doom for some, as losing one’s unemployment benefits or having them changed, or losing the awful gig that served as a lifeboat in the current economic storm. Or, these things don’t last because whoever needed them was able to move onto something else. Given that, I greatly hope the impermanence of this crisis will be a good thing.
Tags: adjunct teaching, teaching, Tokyo Sonata, unemployment
