Here are some more politically incorrect terms. More to come as inspiration comes to me. Any terms you’d like to offer to this glossary in progress, please let me know.
Computer: term that once referred to bulky server-like machines, but now refers to the desktop variety, suitable for word-processing, Internet usage, and pornography. Despite its three to four decade presence in universities, many professors still demonstrate a learning ability when it comes to using a tool most of the general public takes for granted.
Misogyny: Sexist behavior and attitude of male professors long-tolerated until the late 20th century with the rise of feminism and political correctness. Even with misogyny now frowned upon, some male professors still pay attention to hemline of a skirt than what they or the students say in the classroom. Some even use alcohol to do actions such as tell female students that they have magnetic breasts. Male chauvinist pig professors, unfortunately , have tenure on their side. Good luck pursuing your case.
Moore, Lorrie: Oddly inventive American literary fiction writer, English professor, and MFA alumna with a sharp mind and sense of humor. Moore makes fun of university English departments, English professors, and literary theory in Birds of America.
Political correctness: The effort to avoid offending anyone to the point of coining awkward euphemisms. As the prevailing dogma over the past 20 or so years, it is the ultimate obstacle to free speech and progress as no one can say what’s on their mind and just get over it. See liberalism, conservatism, free speech.
Political Science major: Like the English major, this student has no discernible skills or talent and goes to school to learn what can be read from major newspapers and magazines regarding current events.
Post-Colonial Theory/Discourse: Theory about literature, etc, from countries damaged from foreign colonization, especially dominant Western powers (England, France, Spain, etc), and making excuses for those cultures’ current (lack of) development. See theory, postmodernism, political correctness.
Postmodernism: An abstract concept that constantly draws attention to itself and the working of modern life and ideas of the latter half of the 20th century. Only, modern is out of date, so calling something postmodern gives it an air of coolness. See metafiction, theory.
Queer Studies: An academic discipline that teaches LGBT students things they should already know about themselves. See Queer Theory, Women’s Studies.
Romance Novels: Forbidden formulaic genre fiction depicting female romantic fantasies, seen as fluff by academics. Readers can get around this by reading works by 19th century authors such as Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters. Their works provide romance with plenty of melodrama and dramatic tension, but without the bodice ripping.
Russell, Bertrand: 20th century spoiled-brat, English lord, and mathematician-turned-philosopher hack, best known for “Why I am not a Christian,” which spawned many badly written memoirs by atheists.
Semiotics: pseudo-mathematical attempt to analyze literature, co-opted from philosophy. See theory.
Stupid questions: They exist, though it’s politically incorrect to say so. See political correctness.
Tenure: One of the best job security systems in the world, as it protects professors from things that would get someone fired outside academia. As for lecturers, TA’s, and other peons – they’re fucked.
Women’s Studies (AKA Womyn’s Studies): An academic discipline that teaches women things they should already know about themselves. Also, they are incapable of correctly spelling “women” as they insist on replacing the “E” with a “Y”.
Women studies major (male): A man who wants to be a woman, but hasn’t admitted it yet.
Womyn: Somehow, Women’s studies scholars see the “E” as the penis in the word, replacing it with a “Y” which now makes it look like it has a penis. Oh, that’s supposed to be a big clit. See Women’s Studies.
