Here is the now classically infamous Tyra outburst from ANTM, Cycle 4.
November 2nd, 2007
2
Nov 07
Snap!
This broadcast comes to you courtesy of Wayne Besen and Truth Wins Out!
It’s funny to think that a rubber band’s going to snap you out of gayness.
Somehow, “Final Solution” seems appropriate as an ex-gay theme song. These people are never going to be cured and they can only hope for a final solution. Here’s the vid for Peter Murphy‘s cover of the Pere Ubu classic. Choreography by Beyhan Murphy.
2
Nov 07
Feel Free To Mark Me Present
Being a teacher, I am always on the receiving end of student excuses. Some use the rare “mea culpa” card while others constantly cop out. At this point, I’m tired of them, even if they might be legitimate.
One dynamic duo has constantly strolled in late to my freshman composition course. The Bobbsey Twins, as I like to call them, casually walk in as if I don’t have a lateness policy in my syllabus. This week, I filled out some financial aid progress reports where I made notes on their progress and haphazard attendance. I also gave them copies of the progress report and noted that their constant tardiness is a highly disruptive factor in my course. Instead of owning up to it, they blamed it on transportation problems.
One “Bobbsey brother” claimed he e-mailed me an essay I never received. I looked through my e-mails and I couldn’t find anything matching the e-mail he gave me. I’m inclined to think he’s full of what the French call merde.
Then, here is a sampling of e-mails I got this week from absentee students*:
Mr. Evans I’m not going to able to make it to class today. I have a
dentist appointment. Thank you!!!
How convenient. I hope it involved lots and lots of Novocaine.
Mr evans. Im not gona make it into class today im not feeling well. Ill call a classmate to get what i miss. Feel free to mark me present.
Yeah, right! I only mark you present if you are present. An absence is an absence is an absence.
hello mr evens i missed class tonight because i am with my family there house burnt down. so i wanted to make sure they had me around to help i will see you on thursday please dont drop me from your class thank you joe student
It’s spelled Evans! It’s one of the most common surnames in the English language. Actually, Evans is a Welsh name and not a difficult one at that. There is not the excess of L’s, LL’s, and W’s, nor is there the absence of vowels. Actually, Evans has two common vowels and none of those consonants I just mentioned. I can’t see where anyone gets “Evens” from Evans at all. Enough of my name rant.
I know we’ve had a stressful week with the fires and many people’s homes did burn down this week in Southern California. I only have this young man’s word for his family home being a casualty of the recent disaster. However, it can be convenient to blame it on the fires and it would be inhumane of me not to accept the excuse.
In all the e-mails I’ve shown, I love the spelling errors and lack of punctuation. It’s not the first time I’ve received notes from students riddled with writing problems. Somehow, I wonder if these students feel any bit self conscious about it. Perhaps I should cultivate that Miranda Priestly kind of snobbery when it comes to use of the English language and rebuke those who abuse words, spelling, and grammar with gentle brutality.
*names and e-mail addresses withheld.
