shindotvwelcome to shindo's world

I’m writing this a little bit after midnight, so what happened “today” is officially yesterday.

I went to SDSU to get and sign some paperwork for the graduate assistant position I will be doing this semester. I will be doing break-out sections for Professor Amtower’s large English 220 course, which is the intro to lit course. The two breakout sections will have thirty students each and the sections will meet one hour each week while the lecture is two hours every week. I signed the paperwork but the department head had to talk to me.

My problem student was not happy with her grade and complained to the English Department head. It was made known to me that my former student was not happy with getting a B+ and felt it was the result of hard feelings. I discussed my reasons, which I will not post here right now. I think I gave her a fair grade considering the circumstances. While my department head managed to discuss this with me in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory manner, hearing mention of my former student literally raised my blood pressure. I wound up getting a bloody mary after leaving the campus to come down from it.

After the bloody mary, I walked around downtown for a bit and I felt much more calm. I hung out with a friend of mine at the beach later in the afternoon and wound up having a chance meeting with the professor I work with at City College.

After I got home, I spent a couple of hours on the net, which can be the biggest time suck, especially BB’s. I then got out of the apartment and wound up having a slow, relaxing swin at the YMCA in Mission Valley. The water did kind of have that sensory deprivation feel to it.

So bringing this journal up to date. . .

I’ve been in the MFA program in creative writing for the past three years. If anyone remembers a Benny who wrote stories about the Gold Lady, well, that’s me and that is the bulk of the work I’ve been doing to be made into a thesis. I also hope to have this stuff made into a fabulous book as well. The body of work was originally entitled Benny’s Narratives though I’ve never cared for that title. I’ve decided to rename this work in progress Resplendence because it is about Benny becoming as fabulous and as resplendent as the Gold Lady.

There was a certain mentor in the MFA program I worked for and I’ve had a falling out with him. I won’t name him here even though one of my friends here will know whom I’m talking about. I went through a period where I hated him for alienating me because I hurt his feelings by taking a workshop with another professor. I quit working for him and I wound up taking workshops with someone else. Needless to say, former mentor is not going to chair my thesis. Now, I tend to alternate between wanting to talk shit about him and feeling sympathy for him.

I became best friends with Hugh, a guy I liked a lot but he wasn’t interested in me (so he says) yet he lived in my apartment for half a year rent free and I wound up kicking him out after he found true love, which wasn’t me. The kicking out part occured in January ’03. Dude tried to keep my friendship, which the counselor I was seeing at the time thought it was a bad idea. During the summer of ’03, I saw the wisdom of my counselor’s advice and broke off the friendship. A friend of mine, Dr. Tom, did warn me about this Hugo-a-go-go and at a luncheon we talked smack about this former friend of mine along with Dr. Tom’s “I told you so.”

The early half of the ’03 year, I nursed my rejection wounds and developed some better friendships with some people I was already friends with. Doing grad studies was not fun during this period and I spent too many hours in counseling.

In the fall of ’03, I was over Hugo-a-go-go. I got more into writing again. I asked the teacher I studied with post-mentor to chair my thesis.

Last semester, I taught a class for the first time as a Graduate Teaching Associate. It was an intro course in creative writing and I was very excited about it. I had a good group of readings and ideas on how to teach the class. I wound up losing tons of sleep the first week and my brain went into hyper-overdrive as I kept coming up with new ideas for the class everyday. Class discussions, however, were like pulling teeth. All of my students were quite happy to talk to each other before class but they were all quiet when I tried to engage them in discussion. One student made a bad impression on me by leaving early and talking in class constantly. I had to constantly tell her to be quiet. This student soon shot daggers at me with her eyes and continued to talk out of turn. One day, it disrupted a lecture and I wound up having to talk to her about it a week later as she was absent. When I finally did talk to her, it was not pleasant. It ended with her blowing up at me. She remained in the class and it was very negative for me. I wound up giving her a decent grade though it may have not been what she hoped for.

I was very stressed out from this experience and I almost completely flaked out on one of my graduate seminars as a result. I was able to have a talk with the professor about the situation and I was able to salvage this situation.

I spent the summer taking it easy, working part time at City College. I mostly read, watched too much TV, hung out with friends, and visited family. I also de-stressed from last semester.

Hi there, just went onto my live journal and it’s been a long time. I haven’t logged on in a long time but I am back. More tomorrow.